Getting Past Stagnant Waters

Going back to routine in Wednesday.

Today morning and afternoon seem beautiful.

Really for a long time, I see white clouds, blue sky and very very baby green leaves.

Corners of my mouth can't help but curl into a smile.

A deep breath out, like a sigh, and my shoulders seem lighter.

The thought of going back to work is not tempting.

I don't really feel excited about going back to work.

In fact, I hope that when I go back to work this time, my emotions are less invested.

Yes, I have separated it. It is work. Nursing is part of the work.

I still love nursing, don't get me wrong.

I just don't want to feel too much with the people I'm working with.

I will leave all these emotions to nursing my patients instead, if I can help it.

Stagnancy will return. Most probably it will be staying for a long time in my life.

Getting use to stagnancy, that's what I'm trying to cope.

Not every part of my life, will have mountain peaks to climb, rainbows to chase. goals to aim.

A large part of my life, will most probably only have small hills with stairs built-in, non-adventurous garden walks.

Common people living common life.

Maybe that is it, been heavily influenced by Waltz Disney and Hollywood, that everybody is unique, everybody has this unique rainbow to chase, I yearn for it.

The notion that a common person can have an extraordinary life, awesome ambitions and exciting dreams to chase.

Ya... and they left out on the possibility of that. One in a million.

For common people to become extraordinary folk to have an exciting, awesome and legendary life is rare.

Bill Gates is rare. Mother Theresa is rare. Florence Nightingale is rare.

Not forgetting, living happily forever is a "mark" of stagnancy too, no more awesomeness and excitement, just plain routine "happy".

What should I do when my life is stagnant?

What should I do when I'm in the stagnant waters again?

Next time, I must remember not to curl up in the water and sink.

Next time, I must remember not to get too comfortable in the stagnant waters.

Next time, I must remember to swim on shore and take a walk.

Or even try different pools of stagnant water.

Or maybe invent a stagnant water game that I can play with myself?

I've sensed the child in me, when I see the white clouds, blue sky and baby green leaves.

Awhile but no doubt, that's her.

And like what Ken says I just need to get over this hump, get pass this stagnancy stage and I will be fine.