If She Knows

"It's okie. I still have 2 hands." That's what brought a smile to my tears. That's what I believe, there's still hope. That's what brought us to discuss about doing more HBGM when she get discharged.

She had passed on yesterday. If she knows that this hospitalization will cause her life. Will she agree for amputation earlier? I know her in a Saturday morning, AOR with high sugar, a patient whom refuse amputation. A patient whom had gotten upset with her cos she refused amputation. During the 2nd admission, she also refused amputation. I was upset with her, for not seeking appropriate treatment for her wound. Going round to GPs, and to fish pond etc. Iwas upset, very upset and so was she. I went home for a day imagining without a leg and on wheelchair. I cannot do a lot of things. I need to depend on someone to do many things for me. Going to toilet, reaching for stuff like clothes, getting out of bed, getting around...

Yet, this final admission, the pain was so intolerable, she decided to go for amputation.. with high sugar and multiple drug resistant bacteria... she died.

If she knows all this, will she had agreed to go for the amputation.