Thursday, 17 April 2008
Beautifully Sad
Today, I met a teacher who was newly diagnosed with diabetes mellitus.
When I asked her how she felt on hearing the news, she replied "disappointed".
Disappointment, a mixture of sadness, hopelessness, and struggle.
Chopin's Prelude Op 28, No. 15, D flat Major "Raindrop Prelude"
Beautifully and sadly describes the struggle. Reference quoted that this song was composed in Majorca, on his doctor's advise to enjoy a warm dry climate, but he experienced some rains. The tranquility of the song peace depicts Chopin's contentment with his current situation. Yet the toil of his illness and I guess disappointment was brought out in anguish in the strong middle section of crashing chords. The piece ended with the same tranquility of raindrop effect though softly repeated notes at the background of a melody.
Hope my patient will be like this song, after the struggle, the peace regains.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preludes_(Chopin)
http://www.mfiles.co.uk/scores/prelude15.htm
http://www.lessontutor.com/bf_chopin.html
Saturday, 12 April 2008
Lantana
Names:
Common Lantana, Shrub Verbenas, Spanish Flag (Lantana Camara)
Interesting Facts:
Are known as weeds in Southern Africa and Australia.
Have flower clusters known as umbers.
Colour changes as flowers mature.
Used for butterfly gardening.
"Lantana" is a 2001 Australia Film.
Reference:
Saw these flowers outside IMH. It was drizzling slightly.
Though these flowers weren't very obvious at the first glance.
On a closer look, they are actually very beautiful little "weeds".
It's really interesting how these weeds had become flowers for gardening.
Friday, 4 April 2008
Ramblings... Mumblings
Really really tired this weekend ... Once again pretty disappointed with my own energy level. Really admired people with high energy battery level like Energizer. Now I can even hardly call myself a battery.
"If it's not difficult in the first place, it's not worth my effort."
Fluffy told me the above sentence. And the sentence had helped me gritted my teeth through hard times, stagnant times, sad times, many many different kind of times during my internship. I must really admit I hardly breeze through my internship on reflection. In fact, there were many days I'm lost, felt under-priviledged, felt sad and hopeless, loss of self confidence, wanting to give up, felt a sense of unfairness "Why does this have to happen to me?" and many times again asking myself "Why am I the first one?" "It's so lonely!!"
Really thank God for the angels that had helped me in one way or another reminded me that this path and growth is worth my effort. Dr Elaine, Dr Jen Pei, Dr Marvin, Sharon, Shaw, Sister Lee and of course my nursing D Doris and AD Loo See.
Of course my fluffy who had tolerated all my nonsense when I stomped my feet around the house, pouting and proclaiming "I don't want to be an APN anymore!"
Firmly and yet gently he reminded me,
"You don't quit because you cannot do it, thus you don't want to do it. You quit because you know you can do it well but yet you choose not to do it."
One thing, I'm very blesseth that God has placed me with a man who has pride in what he does. If that job has "your name" stamped on it, you make sure you are satisfied with the outcome.
So now, I'm at the cross road again. I had done it, I had become an APN. I'm getting more experience as I see more and more patients as I grow into this new nursing role. I can only get better... However, do I really want to do this if given that choice again?
"If it's not difficult in the first place, it's not worth my effort."
Fluffy told me the above sentence. And the sentence had helped me gritted my teeth through hard times, stagnant times, sad times, many many different kind of times during my internship. I must really admit I hardly breeze through my internship on reflection. In fact, there were many days I'm lost, felt under-priviledged, felt sad and hopeless, loss of self confidence, wanting to give up, felt a sense of unfairness "Why does this have to happen to me?" and many times again asking myself "Why am I the first one?" "It's so lonely!!"
Really thank God for the angels that had helped me in one way or another reminded me that this path and growth is worth my effort. Dr Elaine, Dr Jen Pei, Dr Marvin, Sharon, Shaw, Sister Lee and of course my nursing D Doris and AD Loo See.
Of course my fluffy who had tolerated all my nonsense when I stomped my feet around the house, pouting and proclaiming "I don't want to be an APN anymore!"
Firmly and yet gently he reminded me,
"You don't quit because you cannot do it, thus you don't want to do it. You quit because you know you can do it well but yet you choose not to do it."
One thing, I'm very blesseth that God has placed me with a man who has pride in what he does. If that job has "your name" stamped on it, you make sure you are satisfied with the outcome.
So now, I'm at the cross road again. I had done it, I had become an APN. I'm getting more experience as I see more and more patients as I grow into this new nursing role. I can only get better... However, do I really want to do this if given that choice again?
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